Why are things so difficult sometimes?

I was just telling a friend about how it is when you get in a good groove:  everything’s easy, the decisions are like second nature.  It’s as though your first instinct is to do the healthy thing… and everything else falls away, because it doesn’t support your long-term goals.

And when that groove eludes?  Man, it’s the pits.  Every healthy choice is a struggle.  It’s not even as though I WANT the ice cream… it’s more a basic need.  Like I might not survive without it. Which is ridiculous (well, maybe).

When things are going well?  I can’t even remember how much of a challenge it was, pre-groove.  And when things aren’t going so well?  It’s beyond my ability to even think in the long-term and how what I’m doing sabotages what I truly want.

I’m such a black or white, all or nothing person:  I don’t live in between on any level.  All in or all out.

Anyway – I’m really trying to find that groove.  Monday starts official half marathon training.  And Hal (of Hal Higdon fame, for those new folks here) will be pretty disappointed in me if I don’t step up and do it up right again.  And if I’m being honest?  I’m scared.  Scared to fail.  Maybe scared to succeed.  Or scared because I know how much work succeeding will require and I wonder if I even have that in me.

I surprised myself last season with as dedicated as I was to my half marathon training — that literally had never happened before.  And so I approach this race — with a similar goal in mind — with a little bit of trepidation:  do I have it in me to do it again?

Right now, this is my plan:  to take it just one week at a time.  When I contemplate the plan in its entirety, I get all freaked out about the mileage and the difficulty and the consistency required (especially with 2 feet of snow currently on the ground!).

So, I’ll break it down.  Next week, I have 6 runs that I need to get done.  I’ve got my schedule and plans in place to make sure that I get it all in.  And I’ll see where I’m at by the end of the week.

And then, I’ll take a deep breath and move on to Week 2.  That simple.

Time to start that groove.

Yup – the big one finally hit the Midwest.  The east coast has been hit a few times this winter season already, but we’d been mostly spared, and probably spent too much time laughing at those poor folks out there.

But now?  Chicago is looking like a nuclear white-out.  And it’s pretty damn awesome (at least from my viewpoint… sitting here, warm in my kitchen, power still on, lots of food and wine in the fridge).

I mean, really how often do you get to see Mother Nature at her most ferocious?  Probably only a couple of occasions in a lifetime, right?  Last night, between the 60+ mph wind gusts and thundersnow and lightning (yes, you read that right:  “thundersnow”), it was a great performance.  And it definitely shows you who’s in charge, no matter what kind of 4-wheel drive truck you might own.

So, for the time being, treadmill and bike trainer workouts (swim?  who does that anymore?) are on hold in lieu of shoveling workouts.  And – this is going to be one long, ongoing workout, that’s for sure.

See, I’m just one girl with one crappy shovel (I refuse to buy a snowblower – or even a better shovel since I’m moving to a maintenance-free townhouse in just over a week…) and it will literally take me hours to dig out of this.

I spent 45 minutes this morning just removing the hip-high drift that had snuggled up to my garage.  Well – scratch that – I actually only removed a truck-wide swath of the hip-high drift.  I should have worn my HRM so I could tell you exactly how hard I was working!  Cardio and strength-training, all rolled up into one chilly, convenient package.

The snow seems to be slowing down a little, and while I’m actually working from home, I think I’ll sneak out for an hour over what would be my lunch to try and make another small dent in the snow so I have some hope of being able to drive out tomorrow morning.  When I was last out there, I have 2-3 more hip-high drifts to deal with down the driveway, as well as the foot of snow in between the drifts.

So, I’ve got my work cut out for me, that’s for sure, though the sun’s come out which is making it look deceptively nice outside (next up?  arctic temperatures…) which makes me *almost* want to get out there and dig in.

Of course, I wouldn’t complain if a snow-blowing neighbor or enterprising kid wanted to do it for me…