Strike a pose/Vogue

The other day my lesson for the day brought up the idea of scheduling a professional photo shoot at the end of May for my final photo submission.

Um, yea.  Let that sink in for a moment.  Professional photo shoot.

My first reaction was “la la la la I can’t hear you LA LA LA LA” … as I ran away from the computer.

My second reaction was pretty much a repeat of my first.  As was the third and fourth reaction.

By the fifth reaction, I was able to at least read the entire article — progress. 

I haven’t been swayed, but I’m willing to keep the book open on the suggestion and give myself a little more time to mull it over.

See, if in 5 months I’ve hit all my goals, then a photo shoot could be pretty awesome. But it goes without saying that if I don’t make the progress that I’m happy with, a photo shoot could be emotionally difficult to deal with.

The problem is that I should be confident that I’ll look the way I want by May 31st.  I’m doing the right things, I’m making the healthy decisions, the outcomes should follow.  But there’s still that voice in my head that doesn’t believe that I can do this.  THAT’S what I need to work on — that voice.  Ironically, the voice that says I can’t do this is the one thing that could actually keep me from being successful.

I understand the importance of living the dream — that you become the reality that you envision.  And I completely get how negative thinking can derail progress.  That any seed of doubt can be my undoing.  But that doesn’t stop the voice and the pit-of-my-stomach feeling that I’m going to fail.  The “why bother?” voice that tells me that I shouldn’t get my expectations up.

So, the photo shoot?  That’s one thing.  What I really need to work on is the fact that there’s a part of me that doesn’t think I’ll ever be ready for a photo shoot.