The other day my lesson for the day brought up the idea of scheduling a professional photo shoot at the end of May for my final photo submission.
Um, yea. Let that sink in for a moment. Professional photo shoot.
My first reaction was “la la la la I can’t hear you LA LA LA LA” … as I ran away from the computer.
My second reaction was pretty much a repeat of my first. As was the third and fourth reaction.
By the fifth reaction, I was able to at least read the entire article — progress.
I haven’t been swayed, but I’m willing to keep the book open on the suggestion and give myself a little more time to mull it over.
See, if in 5 months I’ve hit all my goals, then a photo shoot could be pretty awesome. But it goes without saying that if I don’t make the progress that I’m happy with, a photo shoot could be emotionally difficult to deal with.
The problem is that I should be confident that I’ll look the way I want by May 31st. I’m doing the right things, I’m making the healthy decisions, the outcomes should follow. But there’s still that voice in my head that doesn’t believe that I can do this. THAT’S what I need to work on — that voice. Ironically, the voice that says I can’t do this is the one thing that could actually keep me from being successful.
I understand the importance of living the dream — that you become the reality that you envision. And I completely get how negative thinking can derail progress. That any seed of doubt can be my undoing. But that doesn’t stop the voice and the pit-of-my-stomach feeling that I’m going to fail. The “why bother?” voice that tells me that I shouldn’t get my expectations up.
So, the photo shoot? That’s one thing. What I really need to work on is the fact that there’s a part of me that doesn’t think I’ll ever be ready for a photo shoot.
