On my wall of inspiration (actually, a magnetic whiteboard of inspiration, but that doesn’t sound as cool), I’ve got a meme stuck up there — “The trouble is, you think you have time.” It’s attributed to Buddha (and that seems to be the general consensus around the interwebz) and no matter how many times I read it, it never fails to trigger just a little touch of anxiety. Am I doing the right thing? Am I happy? Should I be selling all of my belongings and moving to the mountains??
I recently read a book, Designing Your Life, that was a step-by-step guide to figuring out what you wanted to do, planning it and then acting on it. I had checked it out of the library because I had heard an interview with one of the authors – the book started out as a class at Stanford – and he sounded interesting. The book itself was even more so.
I started thinking about my life in 5 year chunks – the authors thought that this was a perfect amount of time, a balance between enough time to make real change but not so much time that life circumstances would necessarily change drastically. The first thought that jumped out and tackled me – in 5 years I would be 54. Which is the age my brother was when he died this year.
The wind was knocked out of me. Five years doesn’t seem like a lot of time. Jim certainly didn’t think his life was going to end at 54. What makes me so sure that I’ll make it past that?
Like Buddha says, the trouble is, you think you have time.
So I’m doing the things now that will allow me to start doing the rest of the things that I want toi do. Do I want to go work out this afternoon? No. Will I? Probably. And why? Most likely a cross between wanting to make Future Laura proud and knowing that good fitness = good life for me. I want to climb mountains and ride a bike on singletrack trails. I want to backpack and see the world and explore as much as I can without having to board an air-conditioned tour bus to take me there.
And so I plan. And I work. And I don’t put things off for the “perfect” time because that might not come. I’m actively doing what I need to retire early, because even though I might not feel ready, I don’t know that 100% certainty comes with any decision.