Usually I feel like the end of the year kind of sneaks up on me, the Big Bad Wolf jumping out from behind a tree, startling the crap out of me (I guess that makes me Little Red Riding Hood? or does that make me one of the Three Little Pigs? … I always have such difficulty remembering which fairy tale is which), but this year has been not as much dark-woods-fairy-tale and more Disney-movie-with-a-happy-ending.
Parts of my life have seen real growth and expansion (in the good way, not in the need-an-elastic-waistband sort of way). My big accomplishment? Consistency! At the beginning of the year, I decided that my minimum amount of exercise every day would be walking a mile (what I call my “intentional mile”, meaning, just puttering around the house that adds up to a mile of steps does not count). And I almost can’t believe it, but I actually did it. Yup. Every damn day. On a daily basis, is this a huge time suck? Of course not — walking a mile doesn’t even take 20 minutes — but it does mean that some days require planning. And it required the commitment to make it happen — which is something that’s often been in short supply in my character profile.
That’s pretty cool, right? And while not necessarily related, I’ll also say that I’m ending up 2018 less weighty than I started it out. Not by a whole lot, but seeing as how the multi-year trendline had been unmistakably upward, this is a pretty legitimate shift. And what I’m most proud of? There wasn’t a diet in sight. At no time did I give up pizza or ice cream or anything I wanted, honestly. I did it the hard/easy way — eat when I’m hungry, stop when I’m satisfied, be mindful of eating whole foods most of the time, take a breath of time to decide what to eat rather than grazing or eating without engaging my brain at all. While not a quick fix in any way, this feels far more sustainable than any actual diet.
And these are just two examples of good things to come my way this year. Nothing major happened, no big life moments or events that added a lightning bolt emphasis to the last 365 days, but a gradual, steady, consistent growth and learning.
Now, are you wondering how I did on my stated 2018 goals that I laid out in January of last year? No? Really? Because I thought for sure that’s why you were here. It’s not like I’m giving away Instant Pots or Hamilton tickets, you know.
You’d be forgiven for not remembering, but I divided my resolutions into two types — touchy-feely, can’t-be-measured goals and concrete, track-on-a-spreadsheet goals.
Of the first, they consisted of Be Kind, Be Generous, Do Not Judge, Live Authentically and Chase Adventures. Not to be all braggy, but I’d like to think that I was those things more than I wasn’t, though I suppose that’s a bit of a judgment call and an open question for those in my orbit. But since you can’t officially DISPROVE my statement, it’s got to be true, right? Or at least a little true, right? That’s the beauty of non-measurable goals!
If nothing else, I totally won the Chase Adventure goal. Among my adventures: a winter trip to Zion and Bryce (the snow made it gorgeous! … and a little slippery for those who might have been hiking in running shoes…which wouldn’t have been me …), a short hike in the Scottsdale area while I was there for an awesome conference (I don’t care if it’s a “dry heat” — it was like hiking in an oven), a week in the Utah Uinta mountains (I bet you never heard of them either!), a mountain-biking trip to Brown County (it’s amazing how much up is in the Midwest), sight-seeing in Boston (such great food!) and many local trips to hike in the forest preserves that I consider to be a second home. It reminds me that traveling and being in nature is what makes me come alive.
Now, I can totally claim victory on the first set of goals — after all, who’s going to dispute it? — but the goals that can be tracked and counted, well, perhaps I didn’t do quite as well, at least according to the numbers….
Half marathon training. Yea, didn’t happen. Though if you’d like to hear my reasoning excuses, go read this.
More meditation. Um, kinda happened. Off and on. Here and there.
Photo a day. Happened for a bit and then didn’t happen at all. Heck, I’ve all but forgotten I have an Instagram account, even.
In all seriousness, while I didn’t technically hit the half marathon goal or the meditation goal, both had a profound effect on my year. The run training, just two long runs shy of completing the plan, proved to me that I could do it with nothing more than commitment and resilience (and a good pair of running shoes). I sometimes forget that there’s little more to running/walking/hiking than just that — the willingness to suck it up and get out there and move yo’ booty.
And the meditation? Let me start by admitting that I’m not good at it (“oh look! squirrel!”), but I keep practicing and I believe it’s made a huge difference in my life. It’s like it inserts this sliver of a breath in between me and my thoughts, giving me pause where I can be mindful instead of just reacting to whatever is going on around me. The whole being kind and generous and all that? Much easier having some meditation and breathing exercises in my back pocket. Meditation has changed me and how I walk through the world.
All in all? 2018 has been a really good year. I feel calmer and happier and more well-grounded than I have in a long time. Perhaps I’m coming into myself, figuring out what it is I want to do with the second half of my life. Maybe I’m just at the stage of life where I’ve stopped giving a crap about the stuff that’s not truly important. Whatever it is, I’m glad for it and looking forward to more, please, in 2019.
