Why are things so difficult sometimes?
I was just telling a friend about how it is when you get in a good groove: everything’s easy, the decisions are like second nature. It’s as though your first instinct is to do the healthy thing… and everything else falls away, because it doesn’t support your long-term goals.
And when that groove eludes? Man, it’s the pits. Every healthy choice is a struggle. It’s not even as though I WANT the ice cream… it’s more a basic need. Like I might not survive without it. Which is ridiculous (well, maybe).
When things are going well? I can’t even remember how much of a challenge it was, pre-groove. And when things aren’t going so well? It’s beyond my ability to even think in the long-term and how what I’m doing sabotages what I truly want.
I’m such a black or white, all or nothing person: I don’t live in between on any level. All in or all out.
Anyway – I’m really trying to find that groove. Monday starts official half marathon training. And Hal (of Hal Higdon fame, for those new folks here) will be pretty disappointed in me if I don’t step up and do it up right again. And if I’m being honest? I’m scared. Scared to fail. Maybe scared to succeed. Or scared because I know how much work succeeding will require and I wonder if I even have that in me.
I surprised myself last season with as dedicated as I was to my half marathon training — that literally had never happened before. And so I approach this race — with a similar goal in mind — with a little bit of trepidation: do I have it in me to do it again?
Right now, this is my plan: to take it just one week at a time. When I contemplate the plan in its entirety, I get all freaked out about the mileage and the difficulty and the consistency required (especially with 2 feet of snow currently on the ground!).
So, I’ll break it down. Next week, I have 6 runs that I need to get done. I’ve got my schedule and plans in place to make sure that I get it all in. And I’ll see where I’m at by the end of the week.
And then, I’ll take a deep breath and move on to Week 2. That simple.
Time to start that groove.