How to get up early to run in 25 easy steps

Go to bed early.
Okay, go to bed now. It’s still almost early.
Seriously, you’ve passed early and are heading into late.
What part of “GET TO BED” don’t you understand?
Set alarm for 15 minutes before when you want to get up.
Set another alarm for 5 minutes before when you want to get up.
Set alarm for actual time you want to get up.
Make sure you actually turned the alarms on.
Call your Mom and tell her to call you tomorrow when you’re supposed to be up.
Relax! Can’t fall asleep when you’re that tense. You need to get a good night’s sleep, right?
Finally, grudgingly fall asleep.
Realize 20 minutes later that you have to get up to pee.
Fall back to sleep what feels like 2 minutes before the first alarm is set to go off.
Hear first alarm. Wildly smack alarm clock until it shuts up.
Fall back to sleep immediately. Why couldn’t you fall asleep this fast last night?
Peel yourself off the ceiling after the second alarm goes off.
Assure yourself you’re not having a heart attack.
Negotiate 30 more minutes on the basis of your near-death experience.
Who the hell is calling me at this hour of the morning?!
Oh, hi Mom. Yes, it sure is a beautiful day and of COURSE I’m up.
Oh crap, the dog is up.
Go back to sleep, dog! It’s early!
NO, I DON’T want to get up and go outside!
WAIT! Put that leg back down!!! NOOOOOOOO
Okay, you win, let’s go outside. I might as well run since I’m already up….

Just a reminder — I’m giving away a copy of the New York Times Bestseller Furiously Happy by Jenny Lawson. All you need to go is hop over to my post from last week (and here’s a link, just to make it easy peasy) and hit up the comments section telling me you want in.